You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female”.Erin McKean, You Don’t Have to be Pretty (via kittyketamine)
I did a thing with my hair (because I didn’t have time/couldn’t be bothered washing it this morning) and I never do things with my hair and now I’m hyper aware of my face and I don’t know if I like it. I can’t even deal with change when it comes to hairstyles 👌
Mike Kinsella is a beautiful man. Tonight was lovely and it was entirely soothing. I don’t care how lame and cliche it sounds but I am having a really tough time with stuff right now and the past couple of hours have been a total stress release. I wish things that weren’t emo didn’t exist in my world because that kind of music is so dear to me and makes me feel like my junk isn’t just my junk and even if it is, then it isn’t as bad as I think it is.
It puts my junk into perspective.
I’m bad at words. Music is cool. I’m sad but content right now. And that’s cool too.
Make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face.
I think it’s time to quit drinking again. I don’t get drunk anymore but I think for my own health and safety, I’m not gonna touch alcohol for a while. Even being around it makes me want to curl up into a ball and disappear. Being mental is a pain in the arse.
Loving someone is a really weird thing. How do you decide that a human is good enough or funny enough or calming enough or tolerable enough? Who knows, but you make that decision, and then you love them. For all that they are and all the stupid things they say and the dumb things they do, and the annoying way they eat and the way they sometimes breathe really loudly and it drives you up the fucking wall. It makes you really vulnerable because that person could be taken away from you. Maybe not by them choosing to leave, but they could die or have to move away or you could have to live elsewhere, or careers could get in the way, or just life in general. And then you’d have nothing at all. Or whatever it is you would have left would mean significantly less because that person wasn’t around to share it (or make fun of it) with you. But the caring part is so good, and so healthy and makes you feel so content and valued for the first time in your life. Maybe everything will be okay, and maybe even though things can be real shitty and your brain can be an absolute bastard, things could always work out in the best possible way for you.
I dunno, getting this close to someone is fucking terrifying and really cool. I’m AWFUL at dealing with humans/knowing how to process anything in life but I think this is pretty neat.